anthony

surely this curiousity will kill me. this constant nagging of needing answers to everything, when sometimes the answers just don't exist. i wonder if he's alright, if he's strong enough to handle this, and i wonder if he knows how much we love him. i'm curious if he knows how hard i tried to be brave older sister, the strong, reliable, and responsible one. i wonder if he knows how much i fought for him.

and in the end, all i remain curious about is when do you have to stop fighting for a life that isn't yours?

-my brother is leaving on thursday.
-this funeral is really getting to me.
-i've had this certain sadness about me lately that i can't get to go away.
-i wish life were much simpler.

consider this an update on one of the worst weeks of my life.

all i wanted was you.