eyelids weighed down with regret, all i wanted was a way out.

31 days until i see my little brother. it's been so long, and i miss him.
i haven't written in ages, but i have a plethora of ideas. what's stopping me from putting pen to paper?
i found a job in boston that suites me perfectly. i'm keeping my fingers crossed for that one, and i haven't made a wish in a long time.
with the recent death of my grandfather, i've noticed my grandmother's weaknesses. her hands tremble constantly, and she wears around his flannel shirts like a second skin. sometimes, i even hear her talking to him. i don't think she's losing it though, because i think love can penetrate anything. even clouds, atmospheres and limbos.
i bought a windchime today to remind me to believe in things i can't see.

and even now, some days i still wish i was going off to war, to detonate bombs, to be a part of some twisted salvation, and to possibly return some invisible hero that they never see again.