What direction is my life headed? I've been having these horrible nightmares of my brother shooting himself, and I wake up somedays so frightened and miserable, and then there are the mornings where I'm just a little sad it wasn't me. I desperately need someone to listen to. I don't need anyone to hear my life and my sob story. Just need someone to talk to me, tell me a story, remind me that my life isn't so bad. Remind me what my purpose is again. Remind me what it feels like to laugh at a bad joke, really laugh at a funny one. Remind me what it feels like to be wickedly drunk and dancing. Remind me that beyond the daily routines, I used to want to travel. I used to have a heart for others, a passion for feeling involved, and an absolutely insatiable hunger for forgetting about my life to help others better theirs. Remind me what it feels like to cry because you're just so damn happy with where you are in that exact moment that you can't help salty cheeks.

For now, it's back to the grind. If only.